Monday, October 31, 2011

Narwhals = Real?

Ah, finally Halloween.

I've been posting about it so often you'd think it was a week-long affair. However, I have no seen anybody in costume today so I guess people don't really care about the actual holiday but the convenient Sat night before to dress up. Or as one recent Shabbat host's son recently lamented "All the girls in NY will be wearing skimpy outfits in the cold and I won't be there to warm them up!"

Today I checked out the London Jewish Museum in Camden. It was between that and the Advertising and Branding Museum, and the LJM had a kosher cafe. Winner.
It was a neat little museum, with one floor about the history of Jews in England (spoiler alert: it involves a lot of persecution), one half-floor about the Holocaust (obviously) and the top floor's exhibit about Jewish entertainers in Britain.

The history of the Jews was pretty interesting, seeing as that Jews have been a presence here since the 1100's and they're part of Britain's history as anyone else. The museum like every other one here has a lot of interactive games and things to touch to entertain children. And again like every other museum, they use it a little inappropriately. Such as in the holocaust section there's a suitcase nailed to the wall with a little note pad and pencils. Next to it was the sign that basically said:
"Children taken away from their homes during the war were usually only allowed one suitcase so they had to think carefully about what they wanted to take! If you had to only take a few things from your house forever what would they be?"
Children could write some things on the notes and stick them on the suitcase, it was weird and depressing. But I think the museum did a good job taking serious issues and making them child-friendly, especially since Jewish children learn sad things very early on.

The Jewish Entertainers in Britain wasn't that exciting for me since I didn't recognize any of the names aside from Amy Winehouse and Sacha Baron Cohen. Most performers were also from the 50's - 80's. I can't imagine that there are so few British Jewish entertainers today. It seems as if everyone in Hollywood is Jewish.

Afterward I went to the cafe and was disappointed in the cheese boreka I ordered. So, all in all I'd give them museum a B-. Oh, and the guest-book in the Holocaust section had messages from children that said "RIP JEWS AND AMY WINEHOUSE OXOXOX" Also weird.

After class today, I went with my friend's to the Zoology museum since they were having some sort of Halloween night called 'Lizards and Witches'. Four pounds seemed like a rip-off to basically see the same museum I saw 2 weeks ago but with free wine (I couldn't drink) and fake bats strung around the ceiling. Also randomly there were little factoids places around such as "Folklore said that if a witch ate a queen bee before her trial she could withstand the pain of torture" next to some taxidermied bees. The whole museum is dead animals, they definaitely could have made it scary for Halloween. Although I DID learn that Narwhals are real. I'm not embarrassed. I thought they were myths. That's why when they had a Narwhal horn on display I assumed it was fake for Halloween until my friend was like "Aviva, Narwhals are real things." Awkward.

Anyways, sorry this post was a little long, but hey, at least it's longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage right?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Strangers are The Scariest

Ah another weekend, another time to meet the locals and judge them on first impressions.

I spent Shabbat with a family I contacted on Shabbat.com. The parents were very welcoming and sweet and while I'm not going to go into details about their family, I will just say that I was a little surprised at their behavior, much like I was with the family that hosted me for Rosh Hashana.

A nice-turned-awful surprise was the fact that this family had a massive dog which they had described to be as "a big puppy", well a lot of things can be big puppies, since a normal dog would be bigger than a puppy. This was no dog, it was a bear/wolf combo with unbounded energy. And usually I'm all for dogs, they're adorable. Not when they're putting their paws on my shoulders or trying to eat my pockets. And I'm awkwardly saying 'Ok, hey! um...stop, down....ok...um' until a family member grabs him and shouts 'NO SAMPSON!' He was quite the conversation piece all weekend.

Saturday night was the Halloween party at the International Student Housing bar. I threw on my Amy get-up which was a little beaten up from Thursday but that only added to the costume. My roommate decided to not dress up at all, so walking down Marylebone we just looked like coke-head and her normal friend, maybe parole officer.

I was surprised to see that the place had gone all out (although, having been to precisely 2 Halloween parties in my life, I don't really have much of a frame of reference). But besides for the fog machines, spiderwebs, plastic body parts lying about, people had also worked hard on their costumes. A boy literally painted himself blue to be a smurf and there were about 3 boy Black Swans. And yes as always there were girls in tiny tops and tights as cats, bunnies, etc.
Halloween is by far the easiest way to meet people, everyone is wearing a conversation-starter. But for some reason I was drawn to the people not wearing one, at the bar I'd ask them where their costume is and everyone's answer is different, 'my friend's tell me I'm scary enough', 'I'm going as someone lame', 'I'm a nudist on strike.' Sometimes the excuses are cleverer than other people's costumes.

I liked the ISH bar better than the club I went to Thursday night and here's why:

1. At clubs, guys think it's okay to grab your arms and pull you to dance with them. Or to just come up behind you and start dancing with you. It's so aggressive, it's like a blitzkrieg version of dancing. And as someone who needs a lot of personal space, it's not fun.
2. The ISH bar isn't blasting music in every direction so you can barely hear yourself tell people that you would NOT like to dance with them thanks. It only had music by the dance floor and if you wanted to talk to someone, you were able to.
3. The drinks are much much cheaper.
4. ISH is mostly students who are here studying abroad and looking to meet people from all over, not just gelled-up juice heads from Geordie Shore trying to literally "catch" girls.

After getting home at 3am, thanks to my friend Mollie who walked me there, (holding me back from accosting smoking people at a bus stop, which I'm grateful for) I decided to not do anything productive today whatsoever. Mission accomplished. I literally sat all day and even got some ice cream (getting back on that healthy diet tomorrow!)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Stop Trying to Make Me Go to Rehab

Yesterday, I got to go to my Autobiography class for the first time in about 3 weeks so I was excited to get there. On the tube here, they force newspapers into your hands outside the station and then people just leave them on the trains and other people read them after. It's an interesting system.

Someone shoved a copy of the Short List on me, which is a free film/music/TV magazine. The articles are pretty standard, but one caught my eye; 49 Ways To be Cool.
Each number was something like DON'T - Drink Whiskey DO - Drink Tequila. And then a little paragraph why. I don't think anyone's ever been "cooler" by taking tips from a publication that's main usage is keeping the homeless warm at night in Hyde Park. I can't imagine someone coming up to me and being like 'Wow you're so cool!' and I would be "Yeah, I get most of my style tips from those papers people sit on in the tube, without it I'd be a whiskey-drinking, chunky watch-wearing, snowboarding SOB."

One tip surprised me (besides the DON'T- Snowboard DO -Surf one, because nothings cooler than giving up an activity you like cuz it's not 'cool' anymore.) was one that said DON'T - Take the bus/tube DO - Bike. Does this magazine know that if people took their bikes, then they wouldn't be able to READ this thing? Do they care more about being cool than money? Then I take back everything I've said, they're clearly very dedicated and know what they're talking about.

Last night my neighbors threw a Halloween party even though it's not until Monday. I know that I didn't grow up with Halloween and that some people would say that it's pagan and Jews shouldn't celebrate it. But how can I pass up an opportunity to go to a fancy dress party when that's literally all I live for? I don't think of it as Halloween, I just think of it as coordinating my hobbies with everyone else's calenders.

I was Amy Winehouse. I was going to be Zombie Amy Winehouse but settled on Angel Amy Winehouse because I found really cool wings at Camden Market for 10 pounds, plus I was already going to be putting on copious amounts of eyeliner, I didn't want a ton of more make-up over it.

I think it came out really awesome. And someone else was dressed as Gaddafi so it's not even like I was the worst 'too-soon' costume. What does 'too soon' mean anyways? If you're saying it's OK to make fun of dead celebrities then what difference does it matter when they died? So then we'd have to scrap all the Marilyn Monroe and Jesus costumes then. Anyways, people went all out, Superman, Madeline, Samantha from Bewitched, an Abortion Doctor (with his own hanger), it's cool to see people our age get into it especially since a lot of Brits had told me Halloween isn't really done here.

During the party, my friend Lauren who's apartment it was (all the girls in her apartment were of the bunny ears/black dress type) decided she was over this party and wanted to go to Picadilly to the clubs. I was the only one who left with her. So there we were, Amy Winehouse and a Lion taking the tube to Picadilly. After an attention-receiving tube station, me and Lauren in her little body suit and Lion mane got into this club called Sound. There was a problem getting in for a second since I forgotten about my fake cocaine around my left nostril (my roommate had told me to crush up a tiny bit of Excedrin which I did but then accidentally snorted it, so it was mostly white eye-liner. I had to explain I was Amy which they thought was funny but also "bad luck")

It was amusing to see all these boys coming up to Lauren and telling her how cute her costume is, when all these girls in hot little dresses were clearly dolled up for attention and Lauren the Lion kept attracting all these guys. I guess that's what you get for going out in a costume when no one else is in one. Sat night I'm going to have to get it all on again for more parties. I'm not sure if I have enough eyeliner.

Have a great Shabbat darlings!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Bang Bang Bang

As part of my new crusade to eat healthy and lose the right kind of pounds here, I've given up eating ice cream so often (I've been 3 days clean and it's been pretty hard.)

So I traipsed up to Brent Cross today to pick up a package that my ADORABLE sister sent to me via friend who works at the shopping center there. And it was a cute little bag filled to the brim with gummies and candy bracelets. So, obviously I have to get rid of them before my icecreamaholic sponsers (ie roommates) find out. Thanks Shirsies!

Today in my script writing class, a former student of my teacher's came to speak with us. He writes for television, theater, advertisements..basically everything I want to do. And he's only 24. Well does HIS blog get 30 hits a day? And sometimes from Germany? I don't think so.

He was telling us about how he came around to writing, and he mentioned that he has this disease that when he "reads too much or takes in too much written information" he passes out. I was like "Is that a real thing?" and he answered good-naturally to my outburst "No, I'm lying...yes it's real and I have it."
I have never heard of this, he got bad grades in school for writing essays about what he *thought* happened in books or what he gathered from class discussions. I can't imagine being 24 and not having read a book before. It's crazy.

But he was very helpful and insightful in helping us figure out how to write, which I can't say for some journalists who I've heard speak. They basically go on about how difficult it is to be a reporter because you make no money, work too many hours and never see your family. Inspiring.

I also got to see another play for my OTHER theater class tonight, finally, since I missed so many for the Chagim. It was a slight delay in getting there seeing as that (according to the announcement on the tube) there was a body on the tracks. Suicide? Pushed? No idea, people just grumbled about the inconvenience. Nice to see that it's not just a NY thing.

The play was called Bang Bang Bang and was about these human rights activists in the Congo. Really focusing on the war and political issues about the also the personal lives of the activists. I thought it was going to be awful and boring but they actually produced it amazingly well. The music, lighting and acting were superb. But I have noticed a trend in all the plays we've seen.
Granted, I missed a few but the 4 or 5 I have seen always seem to involve an idealist character and a realist character. The Faith Machine made them a little too shallow and one dimensional but it was the same there. And something bad ALWAYS happens to the idealist. None of these plays are optimistic really. They're amazing...but not very happy.

As my friend Megan pointed out, "It's art. It's not supposed to make you happy."




But he actually was very helpful

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Elementary My Dear Watson

Sorry I missed yesterday, not much has been happening this week. About 90% of my conversations with people have been about what they're going to be for Halloween (ie confused face and 'uh...nothing') and telling them what I'm going to be (zombie Amy Winehouse).

Today was my 4th week at work where I've made massive progress and now I'm allowed to listen to my headphones while I sporadically check e-mails and update Interact's Facebook status.
The most exciting thing today happened when we were in the meeting room discussing the magazine staff meeting tonight when I glanced out the window and:

Me: A RAINBOW!
My boss: What?
Me: Oh...uh sorry to interrupt this but um, a rainbow outside!
My boss: It's very pretty
Me: A double rainbow! A double rainbow! "What does it meann??"

Sadly, know one knew what Youtube video I was quoting (if you don't either, shame on you - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI). So it just made me look a little more unhinged than they already think I am.

Tonight I watched the new British show Sherlock Holmes (it's about Sherlock Holmes).
This is cool for a variety reasons:

1. Benedict Cumberbath (or I like to call him Canterbury Brixby, because I can never remember his own real ridiculous name) is quite good (and beautiful) at playing the genius/asshole character which is obviously almost exactly like the bevy of these characters we have in TV today (Sheldon, House, Monk...although Monk isn't a jerk).

2. They live at 221b Baker st (but the show is surprisingly shot on Marylebone Rd., not right near me) but I still recognize a lot of places they shoot as very close to my apartment.

3. It's a British show I can actually make out the words to what they're saying (I watched an episode of The Office UK and the whole thing is mumbles.)

I recommend it.

Anyways, life here is pretty slow this week. Just getting back into the groove after Chag.

ps. I contacted a family on Shabbat.com to host me this weekend so get excited for more stranger stories!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

What's Wrong With You Then?

That was a fun little break right guys?

I hope your holidays were grrrrrrreat!
Mine wasn't as exciting as last time. Less French people though which was nice.

I was super excited for Thursday Simchat Torah since I had made a lot of friends and I was looking forward to dancing/drinking/eating with them, and not just be sitting like we had been at the meals. I had told my roommates that I was going to a "Jewish Party", and I wasn't wearing heels so I'd be able to jump as Jewish dancing so often calls for. I had headed out at 7:30pm since the schedule at said 8. When I got there, there were tables set up with nice candles, and people from the regular shul there not just from Chabad. I saw my friend and before I could say anything he asked me where I had been since I missed all the fun. I expected him to follow up with "...just kidding!" but he didnt, I had read the time wrong and festivities has started at 5:30 and only dinner was at 8pm. Womp womp.

All my friends were already sitting at full tables so I found a spot next to an extremely old woman who asked me what I was doing with my life to which I said that I had no definite plans further than my flight home (and even that's tentative...). I was about to ask her what she's planning to do with her life but then I realized that she was 100 and pretty much done. So I said I liked her brooch.

Fortunately, after the shul people (and my new old lady bff) left, the Chabad rabbi had some more impromptu dancing (and wine) so at least I was there for that. Not a total loss...plus..ice cream.

Friday night I was pretty sick so I couldn't make it to the Chabad. Instead, I stayed home and watched the shows on teen channel 4 which was called "What's Wrong With You Then? Friday Night Lineup". A little insulting. It was my first clue of how much British TV loves to put down its viewers.

Here are two shows that were on which not only mildly confused me but at times downright horrified me. They were two little shows called 'Supersize Vs Superskinny" in which someone who's overweight and someone who's malnourished switch diets for the week to see how the other eats, and they have to make the food for each other. Effectively it's taking two people and just switching their eating disorders. I admit I was a little (ie a lot) into Biggest Loser a couple of seasons ago and even though it's pretty exploitative of obese people, I think they do more good than harm. At least Jillian Michaels tries to get to the bottom of their disorders.

Not this host. Dr. Jessen basically only comes out (in his highlighted hair and tight purple cardigans) to tell the participants just how soon they'll die if they don't start eating the right food. He doesn't tell him what they right foods are mind you, just that they're for sure going to die. Soon.

At the end of the week, the participants get a valuable lesson (I guess?) in how hard eating is on the opposite spectrum of their disorders and presumably go back to the way it was before.

The second show called Embarrassing Fat Bodies also features the fabulous Dr. Jessen, along with more "doctors" including one named Dr. Pixie. Who's very very small. Pixie.

In this one they use SCIENCE to show fat people why they're fat ("it's evolutionary!"). They also take they Fat Bodies truck to the fattest towns in London and use their megaphone to get people to come into the truck. This was an actual exchange between "Dr" Jessen and a man who reluctantly was prodded into the truck:

Man: I'm so heavy. It's hard for me to play with grandkids. (sighs)
Dr. J: What exactly do you eat that you know isn't good for you?
Man: I do eat a lot of chocolates....
(cut to a stack of MEDICAL BOOKS on the truck table)
Dr. J: You don't need the chocolates. Just stop eating them.
Man: Yeah...ok. (lumbers off)

Wow! Dr. Jessen is amazing and full of educational and informative tips! How fast can we get him to the states? There's so much more I can say on this fascinating show, but I won't because it's making me mad and this is already pretty long.

I'm pretty thankful that the holidays are over, spending holidays alone (even with the other Chabad orphans) can pretty lonely and I missed my family. But I'll have the rest of my life to be with my family (and one day my own) and I'm pretty they won't like it if I was just like peace I'll be spending Sukkot in London, adios. And also my roommates are glad they don't have to keep the bathroom light on 24/7. Win/win.

Back to reality.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Booze for Jewz

Can we talk about last night please?

I'll start.

I had bought a ticket to J-SOC's pub crawl event. I have never been to a pub crawl but some people I had met on Sukkot would be there as well as some kids from my own program (and one boy who isn't Jewish...just couldn't pass up a pub crawl). the premise didn't seem all that different than what I would normally do on my own. But this had a bus. So...

Here is what happened in the first 30 min, take notes Maryland Hillel on how to make an AWESOME event:
1. Everyone got a shirt, a white shirt that said the event and "Name _____ School ____", then everyone got markers to fill it in, write on each other, draw, make friends etc.
2. Everyone had to find a buddy, then you either got your wrists or legs taped to attach you, then whoever stayed with their buddy longest got a free drink, it's quite hard to maneuver double-decker bus steps, attached at the ankles.
3. Have the coordinators/Rabbi of event hand out unidentified alcoholic drinks in Coke bottles to people on the bus.
4. Let the night begin.

At some point I remember having the brilliant idea that I had no more room on my shirt and that I should just write on myself instead. Which is why I had to scrub off 'meshuga'at', 'PEACE!' 'I love you <3 Lauren!' and 'NOT TZNIUS' off my arms and legs this morning before work. I decided it would be a good day to wear long sleeves anyways...

The last stop was to a bar in Camden, which was actually 3 blocks from where I work. Although getting that point across to people after drinking was difficult. I kept yelling at people that "I work here!!" leading the staff at the bar to say no, actually I did not. It's a good thing I don't have to pass that place everyday or anything....

Work was slow today, another staff meeting. I was too tired to be weird. Plus we had a guest speaker, a reporter from the Jewish Chronicle, which was cool. Although the piece of advice he stressed was that you should do something else besides journalism as your undergrad and then do it in graduate school. Well save your words of wisdom Mr. Dysch, I sent in my journalism school application this morning. I guess I'll just have to get well-rounded elsewhere.

Don't be mad that I'm taking another 4 day break due to Sukkot.
I hope your holiday is amaazzzzzzzzing.

(Also I've noticed that I've been getting pretty consistent blog hits from Russia...care to explain Russia?)