Last one...

Okay, I'm clearly not going to get any more packing done. And I know tomorrow will be crazy, so here goes.

It's the last night in London and I'm being all sullen and reflective. I think this semester turned out so much better than I had expected. Especially since I had started with very low expectations. Everyone (especially my parents) had told me how this was such an amazing opportunity and how they wished they had been going to London too. I was so worried I was going to have an awful time and everyone think that this trip was totally wasted on me. And I wish everyone gets a chance to travel, but I'm glad it worked out for me too, that I didn't hate it.

I did a lot of fun (and dumb) things here but there's also a lot I learned about myself and life here (let me all sentimental!).

Expectations - I always advocate 'Do whatever you want! Fuck everyone else! Play by your own rules!" and I do believe that. But I've realized how much other people's expectations change my attitude and actions. Like, when I'm in Maryland people say "Oh people from New york are bitches. They're all too cool for everyone and think they're better." So when I'm acting like a bitch I can just say 'well, I'm from NY. I'm supposed to act like a bitch, so it's fine.' And when I'm here people say things like 'Omg Americans are SO friendly and SO nice and warm.' Which makes me strike up conversations with strangers knowing that they'll just be like 'Oh, she's American that explains why she's so outgoing and friendly.'

These are both me. So which is it then?

I think I might keep the overly friendly walk-up-to-strangers-and-introduce-yourself kind of lifestyle in America. I don't know if it'll work the same way but at least I know that I'm capable of it. I think that it's so important to surround yourself with people who have high expectations of you because at least you'll try to live up to that, as opposed to the opposite just because it's easier.

I could write forever about stuff that I discovered here, and how I'm terribly sad I'll be going back to Maryland soon. But I think that's because last semester was really difficult and this won't be the same Maryland I'm going back to because I'm not the same Aviva. I've ridden a mechanical bull, I've sung karaoke alone, I orchestrated impromptu dance parties at Winter Wonderland. And I'm taking all that back with me. And if I forget, I can just look at this blog.

I want to say thanks to my mom and dad for letting me go to London this semester. Seriously, I wouldn't be able to do anything without them (and not just because I ran out of my spending money early November) but they've always tried to give me the very best and whether or not I deserve it, I try to make them proud (drunk roof parties aside), but actually they are the best parents and I'm sorry if your reading this and you think that maybe yours are. That just can't be true.

Also, I want to thank my brother and sister who've faithfully read this and even recruited other (strangers) to read it. I couldn't fathom why someone who wasn't related to me would want to read this but apparently they hyped me up enough to gain readers and I appreciate it. A lot.

Finally, I didn't ask for a lot of feedback from this blog, which I kind of liked because it made it seem more private and diary-like, even though I knew that someone out there is reading this. And thinking...or laughing, or both I hope. And if you feel like it, please leave me a comment on this one. Just to say what you thought.

And I'm glad you came on this adventure with me.

Keep calm. Carry On.

Love,

Aviva