What's Wrong With You Then?

That was a fun little break right guys?

I hope your holidays were grrrrrrreat!
Mine wasn't as exciting as last time. Less French people though which was nice.

I was super excited for Thursday Simchat Torah since I had made a lot of friends and I was looking forward to dancing/drinking/eating with them, and not just be sitting like we had been at the meals. I had told my roommates that I was going to a "Jewish Party", and I wasn't wearing heels so I'd be able to jump as Jewish dancing so often calls for. I had headed out at 7:30pm since the schedule at said 8. When I got there, there were tables set up with nice candles, and people from the regular shul there not just from Chabad. I saw my friend and before I could say anything he asked me where I had been since I missed all the fun. I expected him to follow up with "...just kidding!" but he didnt, I had read the time wrong and festivities has started at 5:30 and only dinner was at 8pm. Womp womp.

All my friends were already sitting at full tables so I found a spot next to an extremely old woman who asked me what I was doing with my life to which I said that I had no definite plans further than my flight home (and even that's tentative...). I was about to ask her what she's planning to do with her life but then I realized that she was 100 and pretty much done. So I said I liked her brooch.

Fortunately, after the shul people (and my new old lady bff) left, the Chabad rabbi had some more impromptu dancing (and wine) so at least I was there for that. Not a total loss...plus..ice cream.

Friday night I was pretty sick so I couldn't make it to the Chabad. Instead, I stayed home and watched the shows on teen channel 4 which was called "What's Wrong With You Then? Friday Night Lineup". A little insulting. It was my first clue of how much British TV loves to put down its viewers.

Here are two shows that were on which not only mildly confused me but at times downright horrified me. They were two little shows called 'Supersize Vs Superskinny" in which someone who's overweight and someone who's malnourished switch diets for the week to see how the other eats, and they have to make the food for each other. Effectively it's taking two people and just switching their eating disorders. I admit I was a little (ie a lot) into Biggest Loser a couple of seasons ago and even though it's pretty exploitative of obese people, I think they do more good than harm. At least Jillian Michaels tries to get to the bottom of their disorders.

Not this host. Dr. Jessen basically only comes out (in his highlighted hair and tight purple cardigans) to tell the participants just how soon they'll die if they don't start eating the right food. He doesn't tell him what they right foods are mind you, just that they're for sure going to die. Soon.

At the end of the week, the participants get a valuable lesson (I guess?) in how hard eating is on the opposite spectrum of their disorders and presumably go back to the way it was before.

The second show called Embarrassing Fat Bodies also features the fabulous Dr. Jessen, along with more "doctors" including one named Dr. Pixie. Who's very very small. Pixie.

In this one they use SCIENCE to show fat people why they're fat ("it's evolutionary!"). They also take they Fat Bodies truck to the fattest towns in London and use their megaphone to get people to come into the truck. This was an actual exchange between "Dr" Jessen and a man who reluctantly was prodded into the truck:

Man: I'm so heavy. It's hard for me to play with grandkids. (sighs)
Dr. J: What exactly do you eat that you know isn't good for you?
Man: I do eat a lot of chocolates....
(cut to a stack of MEDICAL BOOKS on the truck table)
Dr. J: You don't need the chocolates. Just stop eating them.
Man: Yeah...ok. (lumbers off)

Wow! Dr. Jessen is amazing and full of educational and informative tips! How fast can we get him to the states? There's so much more I can say on this fascinating show, but I won't because it's making me mad and this is already pretty long.

I'm pretty thankful that the holidays are over, spending holidays alone (even with the other Chabad orphans) can pretty lonely and I missed my family. But I'll have the rest of my life to be with my family (and one day my own) and I'm pretty they won't like it if I was just like peace I'll be spending Sukkot in London, adios. And also my roommates are glad they don't have to keep the bathroom light on 24/7. Win/win.

Back to reality.